Lazy Drivers - Rant

Lazy people. They come in many shapes and sizes. They fit into many different categories. The one I want to rant about today is that special class of people: THE LAZY DRIVER—in particular the lazy TURNING driver. Please use the diagrams below for reference.

First, we have driver A. A pleasant driver, one who is courteous to others. An intelligent driver, one who has studied the laws and knows what the painted lines on the road mean. In short, one heck of a guy.

Then there is driver B. The lazy driver who apparently got his license by saving enough breakfast cereal box tops. In short, a menace to society.

Now, Driver A is sitting at the intersection waiting to turn. He is looking both ways, making sure it is clear to pull out. Driver B is approaching from the right, obviously planning to turn left (you can tell that by the way he’s leaning way left in his seat and gripping the steering wheel with both hands high on the right side).

The CORRECT way he should complete his turn is shown in the first diagram. He should proceed into the intersection past Driver A, then turn safely into the lane next to Driver A.



Alas, that is not the way the lazy driver sees things. Driver B will instead follow the old geometry adage “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line” (you can almost bet he flunked geometry in school), and take that straight line right in front of Driver A, narrowly missing Driver A’s front bumper, as shown in the second diagram.



Now, I know people like shortcuts. I like them myself.

BUT—I’m talking to the lazy driver now—you’re in a CAR! The car is doing all the work. You’re just sitting there pushing the gas pedal and brake and turning the steering wheel. Almost no effort. You’re not saving any time cutting in so close to me…er…Driver A. You’re not getting where you’re going any quicker.

All you’re doing is making me…uh…Driver A mad. I—he—likes his car. He likes his front bumper. It came with the car when he bought it. It’s PART of the car.

Try to respect my—Driver A’s—front bumper, Mr. Lazy Turning Driver! Take the extra .0345674 seconds and go a bit further into the intersection before you turn. You, too, can help make this a happier world by doing something so simple as to…

RESPECT YOUR FELLOW DRIVING HUMAN BEINGS!!!!

Whew, I need to go take a nap….

WORLD FAMOUS BOOKS AT HALF PRICE!!

HEY, THANKS, Mister EDITOR, for putting the world famous books at half-prices!!! Wow - I can send all my friends from all around the world there to buy fabulous books - Lots of picture books, the RASTUS Series; wow, and novels - inspirational novels, all those published by STUDIO SEVEN in conjunction with Scribes Vally are at half prices!!! I know it doesn't include those NOT on Scribes Valley world famous books, but, hey, I'll have to send all my friends there!!! Thanks again!! --- CLICK ON THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG to go to 'world famous books at half price!!"
Oma

You know it, Oma! We're selling everything at HALF-PRICE! Call us crazy! Call us silly! Call us the best place to find the best books at the best prices!

That's right!!!! Even in this economy you can find a bargain that'll knock your socks off! And who doesn't like to sit around and read books while barefoot?

Books, books, books!

And not just books! WORLD FAMOUS BOOKS

So come on over and get a little crazy yourself! You'll be so glad you did!

I'm the editor of Scribes Valley Publishing, and I approve this message.

Eight Year Old Boy's amazing story!

I have just published and launched 9-year-old Jack Newsome's book, THE NIGHT BOY - he wrote it when he was 8 years old - an amazing story which has a moral for parents and a moral for kids - both written by Jack who loved to read stories about real people who did great things in the series of 'Virtue Books'. In the story, the boy, Jim Handroff is in trouble. He has been watching TV at nights and sleeping during the day. Strange, off-the-planet things start happening. His neglectful parents become aware of the situation and escape with Jim to the U.S.A. But things only get worse! Everyone knows there is an Alien! MORE than just a story. I had the privilege and the joy to work with Jack and his parents and photograph them for the illustrations. The alien was digitally engineered from pictures of Jack. Eight-year-old Jack wrote: "MORAL FOR PARENTS: Don't neglect your kids because bad things will happen to them" AND -- "MORAL FOR KIDS: Don't watch too much TV because you might turn into an alien."

Make Smiles Everywhere you go

I painted smiles on the wood pile - and wrote a poem about it - click on the title of this blog - or go to: http://www.authspot.com/Poetry/How-to-Make-Smiles-Everywhere-You-Go.653091 -- Share smiles with others and receive smiles in return! You do know that 'SMILES' is the longest word in the world because it goes on for 'miles' - Oma

WHAT on Earth is Wrong With US??

I'm wondering what is wrong with me? I have this GREAT PLACE to blog, and I keep forgetting to do it!!! The title of this blog comes from a poem I wrote as an April Fool's Day poem -- very random -- it even mentions Michael Jackson! And I do say that we should not scorn him, but pray for him. What on earth is wrong with us?? Have a look at my poem and decide for yourself!! Click on the heading of this blog -- WHAT on Earth is Wrong With US? -- and - have a laugh!! Try to get ahead -- or as in the poem - keep a head!!! Oma

Ah, yes, parenting

I was asked recently by a young man whose wife is expecting their first child, what he needs to know as a parent. I immediately replied, “The beeper number of a good shrink.”

We laughed and went our separate ways but on the way home I starting thinking about what it takes to be a good parent. I decided to make a list and send it to my friend. After an hour, I decided that wasn’t such a good idea. Too many trees would have to give up their lives for me to compile such a list. So I decided to narrow it down to just a few, all-encompassing items that would help him in his quest for knowledge.

Okay, let’s see, to be a good parent you must. . .

. . .be able to exist on very little sleep and still go to work and present a halfway decent image to your coworkers.

. . .be willing to unwrap a diaper containing something so nasty it would gag a buzzard, and still use your baby talk voice to tell your little one how proud you are of the pretty poo-poo.

. . .take a full load of puke in the chest and still maintain an air of dignity when you ask the convenience store clerk where the restrooms are.

. . .avoid throttling the convenience store clerk when he says the restrooms are for employees only.

. . .repeat yourself constantly and loudly and receive in return some of the most blank, in-one-ear-out-the-other-what-an-old-man-you-are-I-hope-I-don’t-grow-up-to-be-so-crazy looks you’ve ever seen.

. . .enjoy talking to walls because that’s what it will be like talking to your child.

. . .be able to push a shopping cart with one flat wheel, compare prices, read labels, find specials, bag fruit, thump melons, examine meat, and keep your angel from climbing displays all at the same time.

. . .accept graciously a ton of advice from non-parents who know exactly how to raise kids because they read all about it in books written by experts who have no children of their own.

. . .sit and watch a video for the 125th time and still be able to nod and say things like “Wow! Did you see that?” and “I’ve never seen anything like that before” and mean it.

. . .not let the words “are we there yet?” push you over the edge and make rabbits and other small animals sudden targets for your frustration.

. . .be able to assemble toys after midnight on Christmas Eve with just a pocket knife and fifty pages of instructions written only in Japanese.

. . .believe that “Because I said so!” IS a good reason and is the only one your child really needs to understand.

. . .accept the fact that “I don’t know” is the answer that comes standard with each model of child.

. . .have a soft wall in the house that you can beat your head against and not worry about hurting yourself.

. . .keep a smile on your face and ignore all the accusing stares from others as you slip and say something like “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to sell you to the next gypsy caravan that comes through town” in a crowded department store.

. . .keep your head held high and proud as you drag a screaming demon out of the store because some pinhead of a manager decided to place a giant sucker display right next to the cash register, and it’s too close to supper time.

. . .be able to buckle a squirming, screaming child into a car safety seat created by a sadistic inventor sitting in a dark tower somewhere who obviously has never studied the shape, size, or weight of the human child.

. . .deal with that strange phenomena commonly known as “boomerang child,” a condition in which the child is placed securely in bed, kissed, tucked in, settled down, but then suddenly appears at your elbow as you try to unwind on the couch.

. . .start a search for the number of the sadistic inventor in the dark tower and tell him to put his energy into finding a way to keep kids in bed.

. . .be able to sing every Disney song ever created from start to finish at least twenty times in a row while still keeping the car between the ditches.

. . .not break down and cry your eyes out when your child looks at you and simply says, “I love you.”

You know, on second thought, it can’t be narrowed down too much. Oh well, looks like a lot of trees will be dying tonight.

Carolyn Ann Aish, Writing, Music and Art Group

The new group for inspiring creative people in writing, music and art is at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=50730706161
This week, 14th to 29th of February, there is a WRITING RAMPAGE on, where you can write as much as you like, share and check in to see what the others are doing; and if you feel like an ART ATTACK, run around like mad with your camera; paint something or just draw, whatever, and SHARE. I took pictures today of TWINK and myself with my lap-top computer - that is the photo above, taken in my garden pagoda. So, be creative! It is wonderful!!

Is it an Alien?

The poem about my dog, Twink, has been published on AuthorSpot. He's so cute and it did look as if he'd landed in a spaceship in the photo I took! http://www.authspot.com/Poetry/Is-It-an-Alien.523135 and also, I have a new creative group at FACEBOOK for all those interested in being inspired to create -- writing, music and art. I started it just a few hours ago and already eleven have joined. All are welcome and there are no rules other than those that FACEBOOK gives. Oma

IngleNews February Issue of the Monthly Newspaper

Have been SO busy getting this formatted, printed, published, distributed. All done! It was, Issue #11, and our first FULL COLOUR COVER!!! oma.

Twink my Dog - singing, or barking along!

I wrote the lyrics and composed the music, but do you think I could record it without Twink my DOG joining in? Then, when he just barked near the end of the second verse and in the second chorus, I decided to leave it there - it's a good effect, as if he AGREES with my song which is titled, 'Everybody Needs to Be Loved'. Click on the title of this blog if you have time to hear the song. Oma